I will get back to you as soon as I can ;)

~ Laarni

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Glad I Let Go Instead


Where my mind wanders, rests, and flows


Glad I Let Go Instead

Laarni San Juan

I didn't quit. I never gave up even when my mind was weary and felt defeated.

I look back at 2012 when someone called me a monkey that was 1000% inappropriate. It wasn't cute. It wasn't endearing. I reported to whom I thought were the appropriate authorities (I trust my judgement) but I soon tasted what my late father often talked about: there are haters and oppressors in our everyday lives. There are a whole lot of naysayers who are scared of their own shadows.

That first-hand back-hand experience has changed the course of my life. That bitter taste pops up but I have taught myself to squash it before it can dominate my palate. I am thankful (so thankful) for my life team who gave me unending support every time I bitched and moaned about the ugly layers that incident represented. 

I could wallow in anger but that would not set a good example to Sydney and the younger generation who look up to me. Daily rage would not serve my family and the people I love. The madness would add more frown lines and defeat my nightly skin regimen. Self-pity and lounging in the victim role would not bring me happiness.

I had to let it go. I prayed. I forgave. I sought out ways to be stronger. Opportunities presented itself that pushed me to let go and water a new garden. Because I never gave up, I discovered a new me, a better me! I have recovered and now I am bringing that same 1000% of GOOD ENERGY to the table. It's a very liberating and empowering feeling to LET GO of stuff that no longer serves and SAY YES to what does. My core still holds the same values I grew up with: be kind to others, help others, and BE the light to those who have those weary and self-defeating days.